What is a wine snob? The boorish fellow who grabs the wine list? (then orders the most expensive wine that does match the food). Maybe, but good onya mate! Somebody has to take charge. Please do not let this icon get swallowed up by our PC world.

 

Oxford Press Definition

 

snob / snäb / • n. a person with an exaggerated respect for high social position who dislikes people or activities regarded as lower-class. ∎ [with adj.]A person who believes that their tastes in a particular area are superior to those of other people: a wine snob.

 

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  • You need to have a favourite wine from some made up winery like “Snugbottoms Bend”, people will either a)Claim to know it and agree that they make a wonderful Pinot Grigio, Viognier or whatever. b)Be impressed that you know a winery they have never heard, especially when they try to look it up. 
  • When someone gives you a glass of wine, swirl, sniff take a small sip and exclaim loudly “ohh that’s nice, which country is it from?” When told the country, exclaim “I’d love to own a villa there!” Thereby implying you could afford a villa wherever “there” is 
  • Make sure you know the name of an obscure vinery in some hidden valley so you can bandy the name about; it’s also a good idea to know the name of the owner/winemaker too.
  • Never admit to putting ice cubes in your white wine.
  • White wines are OK, but real wine lovers prefer red.
  • Wines not to be drunk in public. Blue Nun, Black Tower,

    Mateous Rose (although they still make a good lampshade holder),white zinfandel, any Rose, Château Cardboard and especially Asti Spumante.

  • Wines to be ridiculed in public: as above. 
  • Call a Shiraz a Syrah 
  • Know the names of at least 10 wine writers. You can make a few up if you like, there are thousands out there.
  • Grab the wine list at the restaurant and make sure you order the most expensive wine

CONNOISSEUR, n. A specialist who knows everything about something and nothing about anything else. An old wine-bibber having been smashed in a railway collision, some wine was poured on his lips to revive him. “Pauillac, 1873,” he murmured and died.

Bierce, Ambrose

–”The Devil’s Dictionary,” 1911